A couple of months ago, I started visiting Shiloh National Military Park in Shiloh, TN.  Not because I was interested in military history - although ALL history interests me - but because I could watch and photograph an eagle nest.  In my first blog post about the eagles, you can certainly hear my excitement about this opportunity.  It has been an experience I will treasure forever, for many reasons.  But I write this final post with a heavy heart.

The eaglets were due to fledge this week.  I visited the nest on Monday, May 20, 2013.  My husband and I weren't going to go on Monday.  We were going to wait until Tuesday.  Early Monday afternoon, Michael said "Let's go today".  And I'm glad he said that and very glad we went on Monday.  Because Monday was the last time I'd see the two eaglets in the way I'd been seeing them over the past two months.

Early Tuesday morning, Mike (ShilohEaglePics.Com) made a heart wrenching announcement to the Shiloh Eagles group on Facebook.  He and Eddie were there early in the morning and both chicks were gone from the nest.  After further investigation, they discovered one of the eaglets had fallen from the nest during the night and didn't make it.  The other eaglet had fledged and was flying well around the area.

After bawling my eyes out over the loss of the one eaglet (named Loh), I decided to make another trip to Shiloh to see the other chick (Shi) flying.  And to mourn the loss of Loh in my own way.  We did make the trip and although both parents were around for several hours, we never did see Shi.  He had flown off into the woods behind the nest before we arrived and while we were there, he didn't return to the nest area.  Later in the afternoon, we called it a day and headed home.

It was a somber trip for sure.  A quiet drive.  I feel as if I've lost a family member.  I'm not sure when we'll go back.  I said I'd go until they left the nest, which we did.  We might try one more time to go and get a glimpse of the flying chick.  Otherwise, I'm not planning another trip down there until the fall when the leaves turn color so I can capture the beautiful landscapes and scenery in its autumn glory.

While I've been photographing birds for years, this year is the first year I've photographed the nesting process from start to finish.  I've photographed a Red Shouldered Hawk nest close to my home, with one chick in the nest.  And the eagles at Shiloh.  I've watched the process from hatching to fledging.  And through my lens, I've developed a stronger bond than I ever imagined possible with these wild birds.

After I shared the distressing news yesterday with my real life friends/family and internet friends, I learned even more about myself and why I do what I do and why I love it so much.  Reactions to the news ranged from "I'm so sorry" from compassionate and caring people to "It's just a bird" and even a subtle inference that the eaglets death could be the fault of the photographers.

To those who said "I'm so sorry"...thank you.  You get it.  Your message is  appreciated more than you will ever know.

If I hear "It's just a bird" one more time, I say this:    Until you have  traveled an hour plus drive each way for two months...until you have hand-held a lens that by the end of an 8-10 hour day feels like it weighs 100lbs...until you have looked into the eyes of these beautiful creatures through that lens for hours and hours of photography plus editing time....SHUT UP.  You don't get it.  Keep your comments to yourself.  That's not what someone who experienced a loss of something they care about needs to hear.

And the suggestion that the death of the eaglet in some way is the fault of the photographers because of distance from the nest and/or human intervention is absolutely beyond ridiculous.  I have so much to say about this one, I don't know where to begin.  First of all, we ALL respected the boundary fencing which is a respectable distance from the nest.  Which, I might add, the adult birds CHOSE to build their nest in this location, knowing it is very close to a main park road.   Each and every photographer there respected the birds, did not disturb them, and certainly did nothing to upset the birds.  The adult birds never once appeared aggravated with the presence of people.  After all, they have been nesting there several years and are quite used to the presence of humans.  I'm sure there are situations where photographers will take any risk to get that award winning shot.  At Shiloh, that was not the case.  The birds and their safety, health and welfare are top priority at this nest.  As for being too close to the nest, the park authorities set up the fencing at what they feel is an acceptable distance and we all abided by their rules.  The eaglet died during the night. We don't know what happened.  But it was hardly the fault of the photographers - especially when no one was there after dark.

So, to say this could possibly be due to "human intervention" from the photographers at a time when we are all grieving over the loss of the one chick is totally disrespectful to the situation and to all of us who worked tirelessly to bring the majestic beauty of these birds to the world.  And it made it very clear to me why I choose to do what I do with my time and why I love to spend my time in nature, with wildlife, and away from "humans", other than those who understand, love and respect nature and wildlife as much as I do.  Because out there in nature, I don't have to be a certain way, meet certain "human standards", suffer judgement from those who have no authority to judge, and deal with unjust criticism and blame.  I do what I do because of humans and my dislike for the world "human intervention" has created.

I often get asked about photographing people.  NO.  NEVER.  And this has reminded me of why I don't.  This experience has reaffirmed my love for wildlife and nature, and for me, has once again validated my decisions and my choices.

People have often told me they want to hear more about my inspiration behind my work, and what I was feeling when I created a certain piece.  Now you know some things I feel and why I do what I do.  But I'd rather let my photos and art tell you the rest, and let you figure most of it out on your own.  Look at the face of the bird on the right in this next photo.  Look closely.  What do you see there?  I'll tell you what I see:  HOPE - CURIOSITY - EXCITEMENT - JOY - ANTICIPATION.  That's what I see in this picture.  I try to give what I see and feel back to you through the pictures I create and share.  To me, that is enough.  You don't need me to tell you what I think, see and feel.  If you really take the time to look at my work, you will see it for yourself.  And to be totally honest, what *I* think and feel in creating a picture isn't even what's really important.  What's truly important is how does the picture make YOU feel?

So here at the end of this wonderful journey, I'd like to present my final Shiloh Eagle Album 7.  Click the link to view the individual photos or view the slide show below:

If you'd like to see to other albums, please visit Album 1, Album 2, Album 3, Album 4, Album 5 and Album 6.  I'd like to mention a few of my fellow photographers whom I've enjoyed meeting and talking with on my visits to the nest:  Don Holland, Jay Turner (ShilohEagles.Com), Mike (ShilohEaglePics.Com), Ronald and Faye Armour, Emily Tanner, David Gunter, and Ken and Peggy Crawford and many others.  Thank you all for making me feel welcome on during my first year visiting Shiloh, for teaching me so much about the birds and their habits, and for sharing your beautiful photos of these majestic birds.  It has truly been a pleasure.  See you at the nest sometime.

--Jai Johnson